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 The Pull of both Work and Family
A few weeks ago, my grandparents celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary! To mark this milestone, my grandparents invited the entire family to gather together for a weekend celebration. Every time I mentioned my grandparents' anniversary, a hearty Mazel Tov was given on their behalf, for everyone was in awe of what it meant to be together as a couple for decade upon decade. But, as their anniversary approached, I only felt a feeling of dread in my stomach! How could I spend an entire weekend away from the congregation? How could I miss a Friday evening service, a Bar Mitzvah, and the community events on Sunday? As a rabbi, I had obligations to my community and to my family!
Each of us has many responsibilities in our lives, whether it is to our family, our spouse, our children, our profession, and our community. In our busy world, these responsibilities often seem to confront one another, so that we feel the pull to be with our family, our community, and our job all at the same time. Each of us wishes to be successful in our chosen profession; to be a good friend or member of a community; and to be a worthy parent, child, or spouse. It is at times like these, that sometimes one feels discouraged - how can you fulfill all of your obligations and responsibilities at the same time?
The Torah, when speaking about a child's obligation to a parent, teaches "Honor your mother and father" (Exodus 20:12) and "Let each person be in awe of her mother and father" (Leviticus 19:3). Jewish tradition teaches that honoring a parent (or any relative for that matter) means providing basic necessities such as food, clothing, and medicinal care. While, being in "awe" of a parent means having a deep and abiding respect for your loved one. The Torah teaches that we have a responsibility to provide for our family member's physical needs, but to also be emotionally supportive and respectful to those who matter most in our lives.
It was difficult for me to spend most of my weekend away from the congregation. As a rabbi, I felt the need to be present for my community and to be spiritually available for members of this congregation. But, I was further reminded that my grandparents would only celebrate one 60th anniversary. As a grandson, I needed to both honor and be in awe of my grandparents! It was a difficult lesson to learn once again, but on that Saturday evening as we toasted the wonderful couple, there was nowhere else in the world I needed to have been, but right there with them.
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